Is it written on my face?

I transferred to another prison a little over a month ago. A prison that’s closer to my family and has programs that I’m interested in, so it was a win-win decision for me, and my family. At the same time, you never know what to expect when going to another prison. Of course, it’s still prison, but you now have to adjust to a new environment, new faces, new personalities, and a new cellmate as well, and that’s all unpredictable. Another thing, information moves quickly in the prison system. You’ll be surprised, but as soon as you step off the bus, word already spread that you’ve arrived, especially if you’re coming with a bit of history.

With that being said, I had an encounter the other day that let me know that that’s the reality. The other day, a guy I met through a guy that I knew from another prison said something that led to an interesting conversation. He said that he heard that I was on death row, but I don’t act like someone who’s been on death row. Keep in mind, I never include the fact that I was on death row when I’m introducing myself, so it caught me off guard. First, how does someone who’s been on death row carry themselves? I asked him what he meant by that, and he said that he expected them to act crazy and upset, whatever that means. Then I asked him where he got his information from. Apparently, he’s someone that a little pull on the compound and it’s his business to know who’s who. He also said that everybody knows. As I said, word spreads fast in prison. He added that he knew the day I got here and had been observing me. That’s another thing in prison, someone is always watching. There’s absolutely no privacy. It’s very important to have a clean reputation, because wherever you go, your history follows you. That’s a topic for another day.

I’m mainly stuck on the part about not acting like I was on death row. Am I supposed to be broken, out of my mind, and upset at the world? Or, should I take it as a compliment? I’m so confused. What I do know, in every situation, especially in situations that are not ideal, you have to either make the best of it, or let it break you. I chose to make the best of it. I definitely didn’t do it on my own, and I continue making that decision every morning before starting my day. So, I truly hope that people won’t think of the death row when they meet me, because I’m so much more.

One love

David