What a year it’s been! As I think about where I was a year ago, it feels like I’ll look back on this year as the year of reflection. The transition from death row to general population was such a shock to the system that i had to make the conscious effort to slow down, and to really try and figure how to proceed, figure out my new normal. I’ll probably never get over the trauma of being in solitary confinement for 30 years, and will be forever anxious in large crowds. That’s not just something you get over. It was so bad that it didn’t feel right, felt like I was doing something wrong when I was being escorted without full restraint. I felt so much lighter without handcuffs and shackles, but I’ve been carrying that extra weight for so long that it was becoming normal. It also felt good not getting the odd looks, the sad looks that death row inmates get when they get escorted. It’s a full on production to transport a death row inmate. It was good to just blend in and go through the reclassification process without having the full production.
There’s also no such thing as soft transition. I went from a single man cell to a 72 man dorm. Talk about shock to the system. I definitely had a few sleepless nights. I’m doing better now, but I also do have moments when it’s overwhelming, and I need to step back and gather my thoughts.
With all that being said, I’m very aware of the opportunity that I was given. Getting off the row didn’t always seem like it was a possibility. I’ve had many sleepless nights thinking about that as well. I’m very thankful, and even though life in prison is far from ideal, the opportunity won’t be taken for granted.
I’m still trying to figure it out and find my way, but hopefully I’ll make the best of life when it’s all said and done.
One love
David
Welcome to Life Row 