Holiday season

I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I do look forward to this time of year. For me, I use this time to reflect. To think back on some of the good, bad, and questionable decisions I made throughout the year. I also think about the things I can improve on, mainly things I need to be more conscious of. It could be something as simple as being a better friend or cutting people out of my life that isn’t uplifting in any way.

Even though I don’t celebrate, it’s hard not to be more homesick than usual this time of year, so this is usually the most difficult time of the year for me as well. On top of it, it’s my 24th Christmas, on this side of the fence, and it doesn’t get easier seeing another year roll by.

It’s not all sad though, because I have loved ones that make this time of year a lot less lonely than it is, and that always gets me through. These are the moments I can’t help but accept the fact that life is what you make it, and every day is an opportunity to leave a lasting impression. I can think of so many things that have left a lasting impression on my life this year, like all the encouraging, and kind messages that were passed on to me. Thank you all.

One love 

David

From death to life

The transition from death to life continues, and I’m starting to find my way and figure out my purpose moving forward. Remember, at my re-sentencing the jury’s recommendation was unanimous, 12-0 voting to resentence me to death. Thankfully my judge intervened, went against the jury’s recommendation, and sentenced me to life. I immediately felt the pressure from the opportunity that I was given, wanting to make the best of the opportunity.

After leaving the row and getting to general population, I really didn’t know what to expect, and I really didn’t have a plan. The transition wasn’t easy at first, mainly because there was nothing to do. With my security/housing level being as high as it was since leaving the row, I wasn’t eligible for anything. The few progams that was available was for short timers, five years or less. No matter how much I stressed that I wanted to do something positive with my time, and wanting to make the best of the opportunity that I was given, I was denied because I had to much. It was frustrating, because a lot of the short timers weren’t participating in the programs.

I was witnessing the problem, or at least one of the problems, with our prison system. There’s 1000s of guys throughout the prison system with with long sentences that are being denied access to programs, so they’re basically doing nothing. We all know what happens when we have nothing to do, and in this environment, that’s usually not a good thing.

Finally after a year and a half, my custody level dropped and I was able to transfer out to another prison, a better situation. Now I still don’t qualify for every program available, because of my sentence and security level, but I have options. I’m currently enrolled in a mentoring and life skills class which is something that I’ve always been interested in. After everything I’ve been through, I’m the example of what not to do, but at the same time, an example of turning a negative situation into a positive.

I also recently got approved for a correspondence course. It’s all about staying busy and making the best of the opportunity I was given.

The energy is so much different in this prison, because the guys aren’t just sitting around doing nothing. With that being said, instead of just warehousing inmates with nothing to do, we need to focus on what prisons were intended for, to rehabilitate. Give prisoners something to do and you’ll see how much of a difference it’ll make, starting with a reduction in the recidivism rate.

One Love

David

(Typist’s note – as his friend, I cannot tell you how proud I am of D for training to be a mentor, and I absolutely know the positive difference he will make in so many younger inmates’ lives).

People can be overwhelming

Now that I’m in general population, I’m interacting with a lot more people; sometimes to the point where it’s overwhelming. I’m in a dorm with 84 other men, the complete opposite of solitary confinement. I get to interact with guys that’s only been in here for a couple of months so far, with guys going home in a few days, to guys that’s been in over 40 years, and everything inbetween.

General population and death row are like two different worlds. On the row, it’s as if you’re frozen in time, because everybody around you is in the same predicament, whereas in general population, there’s no telling what you’re going to get. Someone that has a few days until he gets to go home isn’t focussed on tablets or setting up the Securus app. he’s talking about his worries going back out into the free world and doing better – at least most of them are.

There’s a high turnover rate – guys come and go, so it actually feels like the days are different, especially when you interact with so many different people on a daily basis. I’m constantly learning from the guys around me, from the short timers to the lifers. I also learned from the guys on the row, but now it’s coming at me at a faster pace.

Post 11: Thoughts about freedom

By David

Is freedom a state of mind? It’s not an easy question to answer from this side of the fence, so I’m going to need your help with this!

Some days I think that it is, depending on my mood and my headspace.

The reason that I’m saying this, is that I often hear people saying “you’ll have more freedom if you get resentenced to life.” It is true that I’ll no longer be in solitary confinement, and I won’t have a death sentence over my head, but I’ll still be a far way from freedom, or my understanding of what freedom is.

Of course, I’m still limited in many ways but I still have control of my thoughts, so in that sense I do have freedom, but when you’re looking at the years fly by through a fence, freedom isn’t the first word that comes to mind.

One love,

David

Post 10: A Thank You

From David

It’s on me to share my experience on Death Row, and to give people a better understanding of life on The Row.

I’m very thankful for the people that have shown interest in the Death Penalty, who aren’t directly affected by it. It’s easy to focus on the things that directly affect us- as we should of course. Sometimes we have a hard time even doing that.

I’ve met some amazing people over the years, including the people that made this blog possible.

This is just a quick thank you, for caring.

One love

David

Post 9: Today…and today….

A post from David…

I know the importance of making the most of today, and not dwelling on what could’ve been, but it’s something that I struggle with on a daily basis.

No matter all of the things I’ve forgotten, I still get some of the most random thoughts, and it takes me there. No one really plans to end up on death row, at least I haven’t met a single person who said that ending up on death row was a life goal and trust, I’ve met some interesting characters (interesting is one way to put it.)

I’m guilty of taking things, and people, for granted at some point in my life, and I’m sure we can all say that, not knowing I would find myself in this position.

Maybe it’s okay to dwell on the “what could’ve been”every now and again, as a reminder to appreciate what you have today.

One love.

David

Post 8: Re-set

David writes:

There was an execution on May 23rd. The first for the newly elected Governor. Now everybody is anxiously waiting to see what he does next. The previous Governor set the record for the most executions by a Governor of Florida. Hopefully, topping that number isn’t a goal for this Governor.

As long as I’ve been here, you would think that it’s just another day. But you can’t ignore the reality of the situation. When you exhaust your appeals, you’re eligible, and there’s no way around that. This was the 39th execution in Florida during my time on the Row, and it doesn’t get any easier. Of course you don’t ever forget where you’re at. You’re reminded by the cell bars every morning. But when there’s an execution, it’s like a pause, and you have to re-set.

Some executions affect you more than others, more so when you got to know that person, but even if you have never met that person you feel something, because deep down you know that could’ve been you.

So it’s time for me to re-set, and hope that this Governor didn’t get the satisfaction that the previous Governor obviously got, with each one he oversaw.

One love,

David.

Post 7: As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods…..

As David’s friends, we don’t want you to feel sorry for us. We’re happy to have a good friend in our lives. And actually David doesn’t want you to feel sorry for him either. 
But we want you to, sometimes, feel angry. As we do. With the random twists and turns of a system that, as David said in his last post, is all about politics. And plays with people’s lives as political flips of a coin. Last week we came across this article. It made us angry and scared…..

“More than 100 inmates condemned to death could face a major upheaval, as a revamped Florida Supreme Court ponders whether to undo a 2016 ruling that allowed nearly half of the state’s Death Row prisoners to have their death sentences revisited.

With a conservative bloc of justices led by Chief Justice Charles Canady now in the majority, the court has begun the process of reconsidering whether changes to Florida’s death penalty-sentencing system should continue being applied retroactively to cases dating to 2002.

The court’s reopening of the retroactivity issue, which came in an April 24 order, sent shockwaves through the state’s death-penalty legal community.

“This is judicial activism. The right has always complained about judicial activism and not wanting judicial activist judges. But when you don’t respect precedent, that really is the judicial activism,” Marty McClain, a lawyer who has represented hundreds of defendants in death-penalty cases, told The News Service of Florida in a telephone interview.” (ocala.com)

So where now? Will those currently in the Re-sentencing program (like David) progress? Will only those not started yet be revisited? Will those already resentenced be resentenced again? We, his friends, feel anxious and helpless. Imagine what he must feel.

And yeah, I can hear people saying “so what?” Or “they deserve it”. But – sometimes against our experience, we still believe in due process. In treating people fairly and transparently. And consistently. Are we naive? You tell us.

Post 6: It’s all about POLITICS!

Like with everything, politics is very much a part of the death penalty, and most importantly, how it is applied.

In my case, the State Attorney spoke out against the death penalty. The attorney had a change of heart regarding the death penalty, citing how broken the death penalty system was, the flaws that could lead to an innocent person being executed, and the financial burden of the death penalty. However, speaking out against the death penalty is basically career suicide in the State of Florida. The Governor quickly intervened and had her removed from any death penalty qualified case. The issue went before the courts, and they sided with the Governor – who in turn, handpicked a State Attorney from outside of the District, who of course is pro death penalty to take over the cases.

To keep it simple, the judge hired a hitman to do what someone else refused to do. That’s the easiest way to explain it.

It will probably be a while before someone else dares to speak out against the death penalty again in this State. So this is what I’m up against for my pending re-sentencing hearing.

The truth about the system…

It’s been two years since my sentence was overturned, but before then I was going through the appeal process. It was during this time that I started to realise the significant part that politics plays in the death penalty, and how disproportionate things are. You also learn that the judicial system treats you significantly differently, if you’re wealthy.

In my case, where I can’t afford legal representation. I’ve had to make do with attorneys that are often overworked, underpaid and have a lack of adequate means to present a proper defense. Some are even lacking in experience required for death penalty cases.

Note: my last attorney was removed from my case when it was revealed that he wasn’t actually qualified to be on a death penalty case. It took a year from that to come to light, actually 19 months!

The only thing that the public knows is that we’re given legal representatives, they’re not being told that a lot of these lawyers are incompetent and how much of a waste financially, the death penalty system actually is.

One Love

David