Tag: criminal justice

Life without parole – making a difference

I just joined a group called LWOP Mentors (life without parole mentors) program. It’ll be an alternative to all the programs that are based towards the life with parole programs. There are currently no programs for LWOP inmates. It’ll be the first of its kind, so I’ll be one of the initial members. It’s basically to show the important people that when they change the laws and decide to give guys like us another opportunity at freedom that we can show that we’ve been preparing, and we can show evidence of how we’ve been preparing. Like I said, it’ll be the first of its kind, and I finally feel like I found some like-minded people to associate myself with. I really have a good feeling about it, because it already has the eyes of some important people. I’ll be receptive to whatever advice you may have, because I know how passionate you are about this. Also, I’ll be sure to keep you posted on how it’s coming along.

We had to write like an introduction statement, basically a part of the process to show that we’re committed and why we want to be a part of the group/movement, so I’ll submit a bit of my statement on to you as my entry for next month. Here it is: (You may need to mention that it’s a new group, LWOP mentors, so that the readers aren’t too lost.)

I’ve been incarcerated since the age of 20 (Dec. 2000). At the age of 24, I was sentenced to death, and then resentenced to LWOP at the age of 42 (June 2022). As one may assume, the transition to general population wasn’t easy after all those years of solitary confinement. On death row, you’re surrounded by like-minded people, so there was unity because most were striving towards a common goal, staying alive. In general population, it’s more like an everybody for themselves mentality, which is somewhat understandable, because the mindset of someone going home in a couple months is different from the mindset of someone with a couple life sentences. I struggled to find like-minded people, something that I realized that I was spoiled to have the past 18 years before the move to general population. It was also a struggle to see people that have given up and accepted their LWOP sentences. That’s why there was no hesitation on my part when I was approached with the idea of putting together something for guys with LWOP.

I’ve also been passionate about mentoring, so I’ll always try to make that a part of anything that I get involved in. I’ve been through more than enough, and know that my experiences can be used to influence others in a positive way. If I can stop someone from taking the path I took, because I know exactly where that path leads to, then that’s a start. I know the importance of mentorship and how much of a difference the right guidance can make. Sometimes it’s about showing a person different options. It hurts every time I come across talented, and young men with so much potential sitting in prison.

When you’re in a position like I’m in, you’re often asked what you’re doing with your time, how you’ve changed since then, or why you deserve another chance at freedom. Of course, I’m not the same person I was at the age of 20, but I’m sure that we all can say that. I’m sincere when I say that I’m better now from my experience, but I do know that I’ll have to do more than say it. That’s another reason I’m going to be a part of this group, because they’re going to hold every member accountable. It’s about having people not only look at you as a case number, or a jail number.

With that being said, I’m excited to be a part of a movement, and to finally be amongst some like-minded people. The journey has just begun, but one day I want us to look back and be proud of being a part of the initial group that opened the gates for ourselves and many more behind us.

One love 

David

Holiday season

I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I do look forward to this time of year. For me, I use this time to reflect. To think back on some of the good, bad, and questionable decisions I made throughout the year. I also think about the things I can improve on, mainly things I need to be more conscious of. It could be something as simple as being a better friend or cutting people out of my life that isn’t uplifting in any way.

Even though I don’t celebrate, it’s hard not to be more homesick than usual this time of year, so this is usually the most difficult time of the year for me as well. On top of it, it’s my 24th Christmas, on this side of the fence, and it doesn’t get easier seeing another year roll by.

It’s not all sad though, because I have loved ones that make this time of year a lot less lonely than it is, and that always gets me through. These are the moments I can’t help but accept the fact that life is what you make it, and every day is an opportunity to leave a lasting impression. I can think of so many things that have left a lasting impression on my life this year, like all the encouraging, and kind messages that were passed on to me. Thank you all.

One love 

David

From death to life

The transition from death to life continues, and I’m starting to find my way and figure out my purpose moving forward. Remember, at my re-sentencing the jury’s recommendation was unanimous, 12-0 voting to resentence me to death. Thankfully my judge intervened, went against the jury’s recommendation, and sentenced me to life. I immediately felt the pressure from the opportunity that I was given, wanting to make the best of the opportunity.

After leaving the row and getting to general population, I really didn’t know what to expect, and I really didn’t have a plan. The transition wasn’t easy at first, mainly because there was nothing to do. With my security/housing level being as high as it was since leaving the row, I wasn’t eligible for anything. The few progams that was available was for short timers, five years or less. No matter how much I stressed that I wanted to do something positive with my time, and wanting to make the best of the opportunity that I was given, I was denied because I had to much. It was frustrating, because a lot of the short timers weren’t participating in the programs.

I was witnessing the problem, or at least one of the problems, with our prison system. There’s 1000s of guys throughout the prison system with with long sentences that are being denied access to programs, so they’re basically doing nothing. We all know what happens when we have nothing to do, and in this environment, that’s usually not a good thing.

Finally after a year and a half, my custody level dropped and I was able to transfer out to another prison, a better situation. Now I still don’t qualify for every program available, because of my sentence and security level, but I have options. I’m currently enrolled in a mentoring and life skills class which is something that I’ve always been interested in. After everything I’ve been through, I’m the example of what not to do, but at the same time, an example of turning a negative situation into a positive.

I also recently got approved for a correspondence course. It’s all about staying busy and making the best of the opportunity I was given.

The energy is so much different in this prison, because the guys aren’t just sitting around doing nothing. With that being said, instead of just warehousing inmates with nothing to do, we need to focus on what prisons were intended for, to rehabilitate. Give prisoners something to do and you’ll see how much of a difference it’ll make, starting with a reduction in the recidivism rate.

One Love

David

(Typist’s note – as his friend, I cannot tell you how proud I am of D for training to be a mentor, and I absolutely know the positive difference he will make in so many younger inmates’ lives).

D’s view of our visit

A couple months ago, I had the pleasure of meeting the person that made this blog possible. My friend Karen and I first exchanged letters 8 years ago. I had no idea what to expect, but I can honestly say that we got along from day 1. Even though we didn’t have much in common, and come from completely different backgrounds, we vibed from the first day.

The friendship naturally evolved due to consistency. Even where there was nothing new to report, we somehow managed to not get tired of each others nagging!

When Karen first told me about her plans to visit, I must admit I immediately got nervous. Even though we got along all these years, you never know what to expect when meeting someone in person for the first time. What if we didn’t vibe in person? What if our differences were an issue all of a sudden? I tend to over think things and I was in my own head. I’m also nervous because I can’t hide it or fake it – if I’m not having a good time, I wear my emotions on my face and there’s no way to avoid it.

Then the day came. It did get off to a frustrating start. Of all the days, there was major issues with the prison being short of staff, and top of issues with the count. There’s no movement in the prison until every person is accounted for, and some days that can take a couple hours. Today was one of those days. They eventually got it all sorted out by midday. I was ready by 9am, so I’m in my head again, wondering what’s going on or if there was a change of plans.

Anyways, we’re finally face to face. I know that it’s been a long day. I wouldn’t know how bad it was until they told me, but Karen and her daughter Maya still greets me with a smile. The nervousness immediately disappears and it’s like any casual meeting with friends. It’s so true what they say about time flies when you’re having fun because the time flew by and the time for goodbyes came.

It was such an amazing experience, an experience I’ll never forget.

One thing that really stuck with me is the relationship between Karen and her daughter Maya. They have something special. I could’ve watched them go back and forth with each other and be okay with that.

With that being said, I’m so thankful to have met both of them and I will remember that day for as long as my memory allows me.

An unusual entry

It’s unusual to say the least to include my voice here. I type up and post David’s blog but do it without any changes or edits.

But I have made an exception, as I had the privilege of going to visit David in Mayo CI 2 weeks ago. It’s quite the thing, and I’ll try to paint a picture.

We (my daughter and I) got there at 8.30 and the weather was already incredibly hot and humid. We waited in line with maybe 50 other people, all of whom were welcoming to us as “first timers” and many of whom clearly knew each other well from regular visits. Babies cried, elderly people took time to sit away from the line in the shade – and many people joked that as Brits we were great at waiting in line!

After at least an hour, we were gradually allowed in, with totally understandable high security. We finally entered the “visitation park”, a large canteen-like room with folding tables, vending machines, a small “canteen” with microwaveable fast food, a few board games – and a palpable atmosphere of every imaginable emotion – anticipation, sadness, joy, love, misery. I watched a small girl silently crying, tears streaming down her face without making a sound. I also watched a baby walk for the first time to his daddy – and the whole room erupted into applause. And we waited. And waited.

Despite repeatedly asking the guards where David was, and getting reassurances that he was on his way, nothing happened. We began to wonder if he’d had second thoughts. Began to doubt we’d recognise him and maybe he’d come in, not seen us and left. And really worried that he’d think we’d “stood him up”.

After about 2 hours, there was “count”, when everyone had to go back to their dorms. Count wasn’t complete so had to be re-done, so the whole thing took about an hour. All in all, from joining the line outside, we waited 5 hours until David appeared. I’m not going to criticise the guards, who were always courteous to this old British woman. And I’m not going to dwell on the wait (although as a smoker – which David hates – I was climbing the walls at this point!)

When David finally arrived, we of course knew him immediately! It was hugely emotional – although he told me very sternly not to cry! You have to understand that this is someone I have had in my life for over 8 years. First of all by handwritten letters (and he always complained about the smell of smoke!) Then it was typed letters, every fortnight. Then emails. Once he moved to Mayo after the resentencing, we could talk on the phone (and I’m sorry D how many times I miss your calls!) And now to meet, and hug.

I know we were both very nervous. What if we found nothing to say? What if it was just too awkward? But very soon it settled into the same easy communication we’ve had through so many mediums. As D put it “it’s so easy to vibe with you”.

If you’re a regular reader of this, maybe you need me to describe David. Open face. Amazing eye contact. Gentlemanly. Funny. Very able to  be teased. So so easy to talk to. Not someone who takes advantage (we were allowed to bring in around $20 for snacks and I watched other inmates understandably buy everything the canteen could provide. D just took a sandwich and a bottle of water, and was more concerned that we had had something).

And it went so quickly. We talked football (soccer). About his legal representation. About our great American road trip. Just stuff, the stuff you chat to a friend about. I can’t give you any major revelations. I met the same guy I’d “met” through letters, emails and latterly phone calls already. I certainly got a greater insight into where he’s living. The time flew, and after just under 1 ½ hours, time was called. And we said our goodbyes. The hardest thing is that what I wanted to say was “see you soon”. But I live 4133 miles away (yes, I looked it up!)

Finally, I’m aware that not everyone reading this will share my views on the death penalty, on rehabilitation and second chances. And I respect that – particularly for families of victims. I am not writing to explain or excuse, to challenge or minimise. I am simply writing to tell you about my friend, and the huge privilege it was to meet him face to face.

Karen Chandler

People can be overwhelming

Now that I’m in general population, I’m interacting with a lot more people; sometimes to the point where it’s overwhelming. I’m in a dorm with 84 other men, the complete opposite of solitary confinement. I get to interact with guys that’s only been in here for a couple of months so far, with guys going home in a few days, to guys that’s been in over 40 years, and everything inbetween.

General population and death row are like two different worlds. On the row, it’s as if you’re frozen in time, because everybody around you is in the same predicament, whereas in general population, there’s no telling what you’re going to get. Someone that has a few days until he gets to go home isn’t focussed on tablets or setting up the Securus app. he’s talking about his worries going back out into the free world and doing better – at least most of them are.

There’s a high turnover rate – guys come and go, so it actually feels like the days are different, especially when you interact with so many different people on a daily basis. I’m constantly learning from the guys around me, from the short timers to the lifers. I also learned from the guys on the row, but now it’s coming at me at a faster pace.

Post 11: Thoughts about freedom

By David

Is freedom a state of mind? It’s not an easy question to answer from this side of the fence, so I’m going to need your help with this!

Some days I think that it is, depending on my mood and my headspace.

The reason that I’m saying this, is that I often hear people saying “you’ll have more freedom if you get resentenced to life.” It is true that I’ll no longer be in solitary confinement, and I won’t have a death sentence over my head, but I’ll still be a far way from freedom, or my understanding of what freedom is.

Of course, I’m still limited in many ways but I still have control of my thoughts, so in that sense I do have freedom, but when you’re looking at the years fly by through a fence, freedom isn’t the first word that comes to mind.

One love,

David

Post 10: A Thank You

From David

It’s on me to share my experience on Death Row, and to give people a better understanding of life on The Row.

I’m very thankful for the people that have shown interest in the Death Penalty, who aren’t directly affected by it. It’s easy to focus on the things that directly affect us- as we should of course. Sometimes we have a hard time even doing that.

I’ve met some amazing people over the years, including the people that made this blog possible.

This is just a quick thank you, for caring.

One love

David

Post 9: Today…and today….

A post from David…

I know the importance of making the most of today, and not dwelling on what could’ve been, but it’s something that I struggle with on a daily basis.

No matter all of the things I’ve forgotten, I still get some of the most random thoughts, and it takes me there. No one really plans to end up on death row, at least I haven’t met a single person who said that ending up on death row was a life goal and trust, I’ve met some interesting characters (interesting is one way to put it.)

I’m guilty of taking things, and people, for granted at some point in my life, and I’m sure we can all say that, not knowing I would find myself in this position.

Maybe it’s okay to dwell on the “what could’ve been”every now and again, as a reminder to appreciate what you have today.

One love.

David