Tag: death row

From death to life

The transition from death to life continues, and I’m starting to find my way and figure out my purpose moving forward. Remember, at my re-sentencing the jury’s recommendation was unanimous, 12-0 voting to resentence me to death. Thankfully my judge intervened, went against the jury’s recommendation, and sentenced me to life. I immediately felt the pressure from the opportunity that I was given, wanting to make the best of the opportunity.

After leaving the row and getting to general population, I really didn’t know what to expect, and I really didn’t have a plan. The transition wasn’t easy at first, mainly because there was nothing to do. With my security/housing level being as high as it was since leaving the row, I wasn’t eligible for anything. The few progams that was available was for short timers, five years or less. No matter how much I stressed that I wanted to do something positive with my time, and wanting to make the best of the opportunity that I was given, I was denied because I had to much. It was frustrating, because a lot of the short timers weren’t participating in the programs.

I was witnessing the problem, or at least one of the problems, with our prison system. There’s 1000s of guys throughout the prison system with with long sentences that are being denied access to programs, so they’re basically doing nothing. We all know what happens when we have nothing to do, and in this environment, that’s usually not a good thing.

Finally after a year and a half, my custody level dropped and I was able to transfer out to another prison, a better situation. Now I still don’t qualify for every program available, because of my sentence and security level, but I have options. I’m currently enrolled in a mentoring and life skills class which is something that I’ve always been interested in. After everything I’ve been through, I’m the example of what not to do, but at the same time, an example of turning a negative situation into a positive.

I also recently got approved for a correspondence course. It’s all about staying busy and making the best of the opportunity I was given.

The energy is so much different in this prison, because the guys aren’t just sitting around doing nothing. With that being said, instead of just warehousing inmates with nothing to do, we need to focus on what prisons were intended for, to rehabilitate. Give prisoners something to do and you’ll see how much of a difference it’ll make, starting with a reduction in the recidivism rate.

One Love

David

(Typist’s note – as his friend, I cannot tell you how proud I am of D for training to be a mentor, and I absolutely know the positive difference he will make in so many younger inmates’ lives).

Post 13: The passage of time

The older we get, the more valuable our time should be, because it seems like, at some point in your life, the time decides to speed up. We go from feeling like we can live forever, to one day looking at the image in the mirror and wondering what happened.

When I first got to the row and was meeting guys that’s been incarcerated for 15, 20, 25 years and more (I also met a few guys that’s been here over 40 years), longer than I was alive, I couldn’t believe it. That sounded like forever, and I wondered if it felt like it’s been forever for them. Now I am in that position, quickly approaching my 20th year. I really can’t tell you what it feels like. Some days it feels like it has been forever, and some days it doesn’t feel like it’s been anywhere close to being that long.

I want to say that I’ve made the best of my time, but I do have those days when it feels like the day was a total loss. You do have to make a conscious effort to not let that one day turn into days, or weeks, and so on. That’s the challenge. You never want to feel like you haven’t made the best use of your time. Being here, one don’t get many opportunities to create memorable moments, so whenever the opportunity presents itself, you have to take full advantage of it. I now have a better understanding of the saying “you always make time for the things that are important to you”. It’s a sad feeling when you think about not being able to spend time with the ones that are important to you.

Time is one thing that we can never get back, and it’s very easy to lose track of time. Hopefully, when that day comes, I can look back and not feel like I’ve wasted my time.

One Love

D

Post 11: Thoughts about freedom

By David

Is freedom a state of mind? It’s not an easy question to answer from this side of the fence, so I’m going to need your help with this!

Some days I think that it is, depending on my mood and my headspace.

The reason that I’m saying this, is that I often hear people saying “you’ll have more freedom if you get resentenced to life.” It is true that I’ll no longer be in solitary confinement, and I won’t have a death sentence over my head, but I’ll still be a far way from freedom, or my understanding of what freedom is.

Of course, I’m still limited in many ways but I still have control of my thoughts, so in that sense I do have freedom, but when you’re looking at the years fly by through a fence, freedom isn’t the first word that comes to mind.

One love,

David

Post 10: A Thank You

From David

It’s on me to share my experience on Death Row, and to give people a better understanding of life on The Row.

I’m very thankful for the people that have shown interest in the Death Penalty, who aren’t directly affected by it. It’s easy to focus on the things that directly affect us- as we should of course. Sometimes we have a hard time even doing that.

I’ve met some amazing people over the years, including the people that made this blog possible.

This is just a quick thank you, for caring.

One love

David

Post 9: Today…and today….

A post from David…

I know the importance of making the most of today, and not dwelling on what could’ve been, but it’s something that I struggle with on a daily basis.

No matter all of the things I’ve forgotten, I still get some of the most random thoughts, and it takes me there. No one really plans to end up on death row, at least I haven’t met a single person who said that ending up on death row was a life goal and trust, I’ve met some interesting characters (interesting is one way to put it.)

I’m guilty of taking things, and people, for granted at some point in my life, and I’m sure we can all say that, not knowing I would find myself in this position.

Maybe it’s okay to dwell on the “what could’ve been”every now and again, as a reminder to appreciate what you have today.

One love.

David

Post 8: Re-set

David writes:

There was an execution on May 23rd. The first for the newly elected Governor. Now everybody is anxiously waiting to see what he does next. The previous Governor set the record for the most executions by a Governor of Florida. Hopefully, topping that number isn’t a goal for this Governor.

As long as I’ve been here, you would think that it’s just another day. But you can’t ignore the reality of the situation. When you exhaust your appeals, you’re eligible, and there’s no way around that. This was the 39th execution in Florida during my time on the Row, and it doesn’t get any easier. Of course you don’t ever forget where you’re at. You’re reminded by the cell bars every morning. But when there’s an execution, it’s like a pause, and you have to re-set.

Some executions affect you more than others, more so when you got to know that person, but even if you have never met that person you feel something, because deep down you know that could’ve been you.

So it’s time for me to re-set, and hope that this Governor didn’t get the satisfaction that the previous Governor obviously got, with each one he oversaw.

One love,

David.

Post 6: It’s all about POLITICS!

Like with everything, politics is very much a part of the death penalty, and most importantly, how it is applied.

In my case, the State Attorney spoke out against the death penalty. The attorney had a change of heart regarding the death penalty, citing how broken the death penalty system was, the flaws that could lead to an innocent person being executed, and the financial burden of the death penalty. However, speaking out against the death penalty is basically career suicide in the State of Florida. The Governor quickly intervened and had her removed from any death penalty qualified case. The issue went before the courts, and they sided with the Governor – who in turn, handpicked a State Attorney from outside of the District, who of course is pro death penalty to take over the cases.

To keep it simple, the judge hired a hitman to do what someone else refused to do. That’s the easiest way to explain it.

It will probably be a while before someone else dares to speak out against the death penalty again in this State. So this is what I’m up against for my pending re-sentencing hearing.

The truth about the system…

It’s been two years since my sentence was overturned, but before then I was going through the appeal process. It was during this time that I started to realise the significant part that politics plays in the death penalty, and how disproportionate things are. You also learn that the judicial system treats you significantly differently, if you’re wealthy.

In my case, where I can’t afford legal representation. I’ve had to make do with attorneys that are often overworked, underpaid and have a lack of adequate means to present a proper defense. Some are even lacking in experience required for death penalty cases.

Note: my last attorney was removed from my case when it was revealed that he wasn’t actually qualified to be on a death penalty case. It took a year from that to come to light, actually 19 months!

The only thing that the public knows is that we’re given legal representatives, they’re not being told that a lot of these lawyers are incompetent and how much of a waste financially, the death penalty system actually is.

One Love

David

Post 5: Reflections

In this latest post, David reflects on the past 20 years…

Lately I’ve been thinking about a milestone that’s quickly approaching. I was 20 years old when I caught the case, and I’ll be 40 years old next year. That’s half of my life on the other side.

I’m having mixed emotions about this. On the one hand, I’m thankful to have had those 20 years and some may say “what’s 20 years in a whole life?”, on the other hand, some people may say that it’s 20 years that I didn’t deserve. Of course, we won’t always agree but I do respect all opinions.

As I reflect on the years passed, it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. The reality is, I can’t say that I won’t ever do wrong again, but everyday the goal is to strive to do better, and to be better. Hopefully, I’ve made some progress in those 20 years, more than someone who is just existing.

One Love,

David

Post 3: Why do I write to someone on Death Row?

This post has been written by one of David’s friends who helps to run this Blog.

As well as discussing David’s experiences of the American judicial system and capital punishment, we hope to humanise the debate surrounding the death penalty and those who live on it. This is the first post from one of David’s friends which we hope offers an additional and alternative insight into David and the type of people that find themselves on death row – real people with family, friends and loved ones.

Why do I write to someone on Death Row?

I don’t. I write to my friend David.

You see, you wouldn’t say “I write to someone who lives in a bungalow” or “I write to someone whose flat is on the 6th floor”. The Row is where David lives. Where, as he said in his last blog post, he wakes up every morning determined to do something positive with the day. And, for me, when he’s writing to me or thinking about me, it’s overwhelmingly positive.

David encourages me to talk to him about my son, who died. He calls me out about working too hard. He’s just started a campaign to get me to stop smoking, because that’s what friends do.

I don’t know you, or why you are reading this blog. In fact, it would be great to know why, and what you want from it, (we’re really keen to hear from people reading this). But David’s blog team – his friends – know why we’re writing it. We’re not do-gooders. Or naïve. We’re terribly aware of our privilege, sitting in comfortable homes in the UK, writing when we feel like it. But we’ve got to know the person behind the label – the many labels – and we’d like you to as well.

There are many directions this blog can go in. The details of everyday life. The issues around legal representation for people on the Row. We’d like to know what you would like to hear more on, chat about and discuss?

But to begin with, my aim is to introduce you to my friend, just like I would at a party or if I bumped into you in the store.

What I know about David…

  1. David hates cigarettes.
  2. Is getting to like dogs (or maybe only my dog?!)
  3. David reads a lot.
  4. Loves reggae.
  5. Plays basketball really well.
  6. Supports a soccer team (luckily, the same one as me!).
  7. He keeps in really good touch with his ex-girlfriend.
  8. His handwriting is way neater than mine.
  9. He loves lions.
  10. David challenges me when I’m judgemental.
  11. He doesn’t quite get Brexit (who does?) but keeps really informed about politics on both sides of the pond.

Most importantly, he’s my friend.